Going beyond labels... and why it matters

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I was talking to a friend recently and he was having a hard time with an issue to do with an intimate relationship. After he while he said that it was all "just craving" and this, it seems was the end of the conversation. I very much doubt it ended the issue! but it struck me how often our use of labels puts us at a distance to direct experience. It's convenient, yes, and yet this distance means it never really changes. It never changes because we haven't taken the time to really listen, to really see what is happening. To feel it' and register it's truth. Why? Because it's painful probably and it's an easier choice to avoid the pain. Read More...
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I don't feel it in my body... Am I Focusing?

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Sometimes it is hard to know if we are Focusing? Especially early on when we are perhaps newer to the practice. An image I heard many years ago that describes it well is that Focusing is like tuning into a new language, at first the sounds make no sense, then gradually as you become accustomed to it, you begin to hear words and then phrases.. and then it makes sense. The language of the body takes time to learn and what can make it more difficult is that each of our bodies has a different way of "speaking"... and also that we can easily have expectations that obscure what is actually happening. One such expectation is about "feeling it in the body" but do we always feel it in the body, or what is it we feel in the body? And if not - then how do we know we are doing it? Well, here are three signs that might help. Read More...
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Carry the fear with you...

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I've finally learnt that it's ok to be scared and anxious! Well, to be more precise, that it's ok if part of me feels that - even strongly.

For many years, I would feel afraid... let's say when facing a new and challenging situation. I would feel scared and at the same time try and not feel scared, I'd try and talk myself out of it, or ignore it, or reassure myself. Or even worse I'd get caught in some kind of self judgement - feeling low or a failure because here I was again feeling afraid. A painful place. Read More...
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