the value of not knowing

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Since March this year I have been studying on a course co-hosted by Schumacher college in Devon about Nature connection and environmental education. I love being a student or an apprentice, yet and again and again I bump into my ignorance... or not knowing. I don't know one plant from the next, or which compass direction I am facing... and I notice along side this not knowing comes a connected feeling.. a murky sense of "its not ok to not know" or even "you are not ok" . I dig a little deeper and feel a thread that goes way back to school and before perhaps. If this thread had words it would be "you have to know, it's not ok to not know"
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on changing my name....

'You know, the only method that works is the braille method: we have to just feel our way along, from moment to moment, to what we need, to what’s appropriate for us... Trust yourself. You shouldn’t believe a word we say. You’re just abusing yourself if you give yourself away in that manner. If something that is said resonates with your heart, how do you think you know? I mean, if you appreciate – you hear someone speaking and you say ‘Wow, they’ve really got it!’ How do you know if they’ve got it? It’s because you are the truth. And when a truth is spoken, it resonates with that place inside of you that is truth. Trust that place. That is the Teacher. Don’t be ‘a Buddhist’, don’t be ‘a Hindu’, don’t be ‘a Christian’ – be a human being on their way to their immensity. Don’t ‘know.’ Only use what’s useful... The heart will find its balance. The heart will find its way.' Stephen Levine, 'An Exploration of Healing into Life and Death'

Well.... here we are. Nearly twenty years after being given the name Manjudeva within the now called Triratna Buddhist Order, I am now leaving that Order and returning to my birth name Peter. The above quote, which I love - expresses a lot of it. Read More...
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Big Kindness

I want to share something that has been happening for a few years in my Focusing practice... and it’s about what I am calling big kindness. It happens like this: I’m exploring some theme around a difficulty, for example - my habit of spending too much time on the internet and researching products... and in that exploration I meet various parts of myself with empathy and understanding... and then in that exploration, it’s like I sense a bigger picture Read More...
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beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field

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"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there. " Rumi

What happens when we listen deeply to another or ourselves?

We enter a space where we are curious, sensitive and open. We may have ideas about what will happen next, or judgements, we may not, but either way they are welcomed and included. They are not the one who listens but guests watching on perhaps, maybe worried, but certainly not the ones with ears!
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Who is navigating your life? or "why are you looking at your phone daddy?"

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Recently my son Albie, who is 6, has been asking me "why are you looking at your phone daddy?" It's easy to lie or fudge an answer to be honest but very often it's because I am either restless or needing some way or removing myself from the painful present. It's a habit... and addiction and a useful handheld device that helps my life.

At heart. my son's question is vital and alive... it invites me to stop and ask, why? Why am I doing this? and it's a question I am growing more fond of. It's not a demanding question or critical… it's not "WHY? am I doing this? (and you know you shouldn't)" It is a more curious enquiry... what is beneath this thing I am doing ? What is wanted right now? Read More...
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